The first attack that I’d consider a "panic attack" was really unexpected so much so that I ran as fast as I could, I don't know wether I was running away from it or toward help, I still don't know. What isn't commonly understood is that anxiety and panic attacks are terrifying so it is not only that I fear “____” I fear the fear.
Within the throes of anxiety I become a wet-eyed shell - all of my thoughts and senses are diced and garbled like I am time travelling in paralysis.
It is a very taxing way to live because even once I have left the anxious situation I can be having “Attacks” related to it for days, you see, its not as simple as conquering a fear or taking a plunge. I cant help but buckle and fall incredibly stressed and misanthropic before, during and after.
After this, my head is shadowy, full of parasites… I feel out of control and dizzied by the world.
In my experience, metaphorically, a full-scale city is being built upon my body and brick after brick crushing me deeper into hot grounds (eyes are fixed into watching - still feeling all of the strain) I am completely unable to act due to the weight. Ironically, once I am in a social situation all I want is not actually to “leave” but disappear. Getting away from people attracts new attention and warrants physical movement that really is a hell of a lot to expect a mind that thinks its seconds away from “accepted death” to do.
This is the recent version of my experience, change is inevitable each time and may oppose but so is the nature of the beast. Still, I’m committed to recovering but you know at a pace that I can tolerate because lets face it challenging anxiety is painful so the pace will never be comfortable for me but tolerable is fine with me.
Things that help me: Writing, Yoga, Reading, Mindfulness, My Dogs, Bargain Hunting and Retaining Health.
Medication really does help me but it is most definitely not the be ball and end all and doesn’t work for everyone.
What helps you with anxiety and/or panic attacks?
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